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Humor Hour Jokes Here!

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Everyone, share your Uncle Jack "Humor Hour" jokes here :) I'll start; Q: What's the difference between a downer, and a bolt? A: You don't hammer a bolt.

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I'd put this (or what I can remember of it) in the KS comments:

 

Q: What's the difference between a drowned rat and a drowned Downer?

 

A: I don't know either, but I'm glad they're both dead.

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Q: What's best served to a Downer at breakfast?

 

A: Toes in a hole, and then throw in the rest of him!

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Q: Did you hear the new tune, "Downer In The Dell"?

 

A: Oh, wait, no... that's "well", not "dell". Happy news, that! Moving on...

 

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@Zenaxa was that from the actual game? I meant make up your own. I don't actually have the pre-alpha yet, so I don't know what's in the game, and what isn't xD

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I have never heard any of these, so I do not think so, but I've only heard the same like 4 jokes repeated. Basically you take lawyer jokes or jokes where the punch line is hurting/killing the person and substitute "Downer" and it will work.

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Why didn't the downers take their joy? It's hard to swallow with two hands around your throat.

 

You know I was pretty happy to have a downer hang around me for awhile, then I cut the rope down when I saw he started to stink.

 

You know they say downers are actually quite one with nature. How do I know this? I saw quite a few of them taking dirt naps the other day.

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Ah, and here's a joke here from a Mrs Barnaby from Tarnpoint Bay..probably somewhere near the coast I'll wager. I bet you're all looking forward to your holidays at the seaside this year. Buckets and spades..and that bracing sea air. Just the tonic..although not as good as joy I'll bet.

 

So, the joke reads.. Why did the downer starve to death at the beach?

 

I don't know..but the answer is..

 

Because they didn't want to eat the sand which is there!

 

Sandwiches! A marvellous play on words Mrs Barnaby! Plus downers refuse to take their joy, so I'm not surprised they'd turn down the opportunity for a delicious something between two slices of bread. They're such finicky eaters. Have you seen their food? Rotten mushrooms and mouldy apples. I'd hate to be invited to a downer dinner party, wouldn't you? What would they serve for dessert?

 

The next pun filled envelope is from Thomas Ellis in Willard's Green. A great place for fun and games, and they have a corking cricket pitch. I bet like me you love the thwacking sound of willow. Probably the last thing a downer hears! Haha! It's great fun playing on the right team isn't it? No foul balls close to our pavilion are there?

 

Anyway, on with the joke.

 

Why is a quarter pack of cards better than a downer?

 

At least the pack of cards has a complete suit. Yes, extremely funny there Thomas! A complete suit!

 

You'd think those downers would pull out their fingers and smarten up a bit. We all feel much better when we're nicely dressed. And a proper haircut with a sensible parting. Or a smart salon hairdo for you lovely ladies. It's good to stand out in your best suit in a crowd. Unless your a downer, then you're dead!

 

Anyway, that's all we have time for right now. I think our next programme is all about arts and crafts. And how you can brighten up your local environment with crafting things that other people might throw away.

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